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Subject: Lack of bond with baby 1 Replies

  • Started by Anonymous on Oct 07, 2022
Hi there, I’ve got a 5 month old daughter. She’s a really good baby, really cute, smiley etc. I feel a very strong sense of responsibility and a desire to get things right. But I don’t feel that overwhelming mother love that people speak about, and I don’t feel a deep bond or connection. I feel like she’s someone else’s child that I’m looking after. And I feel huge guilt that I don’t love her more. I’m worried she could sense this somehow and that it will damage her psychologically. I feel that she deserves to be loved in that unconditional way and to have a mother that has bonded with her. And I feel sad for myself that I don’t have those feelings. When I was pregnant and felt apprehensive about having a baby and the lack of sleep and relentless nature of parenthood, I always expected that the deep love I would feel for my child would make it all feel worth while. But on a day-to-day basis, I don’t feel depressed all the time, I don’t feel anxious all the time, I just have this niggling feeling of guilt. I don’t know if this is a form of postnatal depression, or if I’m deficient as a mother, or whether the feelings will come, but slowly. Has anyone else experienced this?

Subject: PTSD anybody help me? 3 Replies

  • Started by Jess on Sep 16, 2022
Can anyone help me going out my mind I have PTSD I had baby 5 weeks ago had to go back in when he was a week old I was bleeding I collapsed I had to be rushed to surgery there was bit of placenta left in I had infection in womb also I'm suffering very bad with panic attacks and anxiety never had before they put me on tablets I had to come off them I was worse I don't want to take tablets.can anyone help me please? Is there support groups in cork for it please

Subject: Lost 1 Replies

  • Started by Anonymous on Aug 04, 2022
I am a mother of 4 children from 9 to 4 months. I am so blessed but I am feeling completely overwhelmed. It is just so busy and I feel like I am failing as a mother. I am not giving enough quality time to any of them. I am doing my best and my partner is a great help when he is at home. I am in my head all of the time instead of being in the moment with my beautiful family. I am thinking about the washing, cleaning, organising I have to do. I am snapping with the other kids. This is just not the type of mother I want to be. I cannot stop crying and feel guilty all the time. I am exhausted
  • Started by Claire on Aug 24, 2020
Iv seen a few topics from journalists looking to speak with women about PND. I just want to know if your a journalist please reach out to let me know. I am happy to talk. The stigma needs to be removed. People need to understand PND is a real illness. Not something you can snap out of or get a grip. It’s not something anyone has the right to say how come you can’t cope when others can. I am happy to speak out. I have no shame in saying I suffered and I still suffer. Comments welcome
  • Started by Anon on Apr 12, 2022
I have a 10 month old daughter and over the last 3 months I have completely hit rock bottom.. I dont like the person I have become. I get thoughts that I should run away and end all of these feelings. Ive no confidence anymore. I dont want or ever feel like being intimate with my partner since having my daughter. I cant tell anyone because I dont want them to think im being dramatic. My partner is so loving I know he doesnt deserve this. I hide these feelings everyday from everyone it is exhausting. I did ring GP but cannot be seen for a week as they are busy. I dont know how I will get over feeling so broken and lost. Ive thought about going to A&E before I crack..

Subject: PND and guilt 7 Replies

  • Started by Anon on Sep 05, 2019
Hi everyone, I am a mam of 2 children (girl 8 and baby boy 7 months). I was diagnosed with PND when my son was 3 months and was referred to counselling and put on tablets. I was never a person to shy away from my feelings but i just put everything down to the baby blues as i did not suffer with PND with my first child. I had brought my baby in for his first lot of injections and the nurse noticed straight away there was something wrong with me. she was very kind and told me to look for help and to come back if i wanted to speak to someone. it shocked me that a practical stranger had noticed it in me but my family hadn't. the following week was a check up with the health nurse and she told me that I had PND after a quick questionnaire and asked me to go to my GP as she would be speaking to him about it. It took me a month to get myself together and realise i couldn't just ride this wave anymore, i needed to get help for the sake of my family and most importantly myself. While the tablets have definitely put in better form from day to day, i still have good days and bad days. Counselling is wrapping up at the moment, only 1 more session left, and although I have learned a few bits about myself and given me food for thought I still feel horrifically low. My partner is doing the best he can but I just don't think he understands the extent of how much PND can effect you. I find i snap the head off him for no reason and don't have the energy to play with my daughter. And so on top of the PND comes the guilt, I feel guilty that I am not well, I feel guilty that I should be happy but for some reason I'm depressed. I am out sick from work as I was to return to work the beginning of July. The thoughts of work sets me into a panic. Which is unusual because i used to like my job, although it was stressful from time to time. I feel I cannot face work and leaving the kids and house all week. How would I get everything done and spend time with the kids and my partner without spiraling into a deeper depression? Has anyone ever felt like this and returned to work? How did it go? Then there's guilt that the main financial responsibility is on my partners shoulders. Please tell me I am not the only one who if after counselling and anti depressants (high dosage) and time of work still feels like crap? At this point I feel broken and won't be able to ever put the pieces back together.

Subject: Do I have postnatal? 3 Replies

  • Started by Amy on Jun 23, 2018
Kinda nervous to post this but here it goes, I know I will be met with support and understanding from you all. I think I might have postnatal depression but I don’t know. Lately I’ve been feeling really strange. My Mom is currently battling cancer and it all kicked off really abruptly with her being healthy enough and then one day ended up in ICU on a ventilator after her bowel ruptured. They then found a tumour and she now has a ileostomy bag and has lost her hair and so much weight. It’s been so quick and painful for me to watch as she is my best friend and we have no answer about how long she will live. My dad also suffers with depression and has dystonia so I have this sense of guilt when I go home to my house and leave them there. I’m all day every day thinking about my mom and just waiting for more bad news. I’m really struggling with it. I recently started back at work and have been offered a promotion since I returned which is great but I just feel like I’m on autopilot, I don’t relate to any of the girls I work with and feel like they don’t like me every much. I just feel like I can’t be myself around them and I come off cold. It’s like I’m overthinking every situation working along side them and I’ve lost all social capability, which is very strange for me. I don’t feel suicidal at all, like my daughter and husband are my life, I love them so much and they make me so happy but I feel like I’m having an out of body experience all the time. I feel like I can’t be affectionate to my husband as I don’t feel attractive since having my baby and I know it hurts him that I’m like this. I’m eating crap too, just not filling my body with the fuel I need but I just feel so bloody miserable and lost! I know I should go to my GP and get help in some way but I honestly can’t afford the €65 visit and I know she will suggest counseling but I can’t afford it. I also don’t want to go on medication. I’m just wondering will this feeling lift, will of get worse? I’m just scared I’m losing who I am and becoming a shell of my former self. Help!

Subject: Feeling worthless and lonely 4 Replies

  • Started by Lara on May 17, 2022
Hi I feel just pretty much like I do not exist and that I do not have my identity anymore. My 3 month old is bit skinny and has head position issues and that makes me sad and I believe I am a bad mum. I also moved to Ireland recently and lost my job so I conoletely depend on my husband financially. I feel nothing more but a housewife and not so good mother and dependent wife. Some how it looks like I am not competent for anything and I am completely a fake person, empty and hollow.

Subject: Group in Limerick 2 Replies

  • Started by Emah on Apr 15, 2016
Just wondering what support groups are available in Limerick area. Playgroups aren't ideal as by the time I get my toddler there she is tired and I'm just shadowing her from trying to go out door so doesn't give me chance to talk to other moms, feel so isolated!

Subject: Dreading going back to work 1 Replies

  • Started by Debbie on May 04, 2022
Due back to work in 4 months time and I am already worrying about it. Can anyone replace me, how am I going to be sure I pick the right person. I am all over the place, should I become a stay at home Mum?? If I didnt have the mortgage hanging over my head but really not a reality. Love love to hear from Mums that went through this..
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