Lack of bond with baby

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Posted By Anonymous on Oct 07, 2022

Hi there, I’ve got a 5 month old daughter. She’s a really good baby, really cute, smiley etc. I feel a very strong sense of responsibility and a desire to get things right. But I don’t feel that overwhelming mother love that people speak about, and I don’t feel a deep bond or connection. I feel like she’s someone else’s child that I’m looking after. And I feel huge guilt that I don’t love her more. I’m worried she could sense this somehow and that it will damage her psychologically. I feel that she deserves to be loved in that unconditional way and to have a mother that has bonded with her. And I feel sad for myself that I don’t have those feelings. When I was pregnant and felt apprehensive about having a baby and the lack of sleep and relentless nature of parenthood, I always expected that the deep love I would feel for my child would make it all feel worth while. But on a day-to-day basis, I don’t feel depressed all the time, I don’t feel anxious all the time, I just have this niggling feeling of guilt. I don’t know if this is a form of postnatal depression, or if I’m deficient as a mother, or whether the feelings will come, but slowly. Has anyone else experienced this?

Posted By Shauna on Oct 19, 2022

This is quite common, and your bond with the baby will simply grow in time. My friend felt like this at your stage. You are still at a very early stage of things postpartum and it is a very tough time. Maybe some counselling would help with the guilt?

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