- Started by Adam on Jan 19, 2021
Our little boy is 5 months old and since the start has been an extremely difficult and demanding baby. The nurses at the hospital recognised this within a day and its held true since. About 80% of his time awake he winges or cries. We do everything we can to take care of his needs but it takes the two of us constantly taking care of him to get through a day. This causes massive guilt when I go to work knowing she has to deal with him alone. Because of work we moved to the west with all our friends and family and support outside of each other back east. Thanks to covid we cant travel or have help come to us so have been doing most of the last 5 months alone.
I've felt down or stressed a lot during the time but I know she is also suffering from PND and I've done all I can to help and support her. One of the things I've done is mask my own stress and depression which is often enough to bring me to tears when she's not around. I'm experiencing horrible feelings and behaviours I never did before. If any cracks show in me she gets more upset with the combo of the baby's constant whining and my own upset. It ends up causing fights and makes me feel even more guilty for it. I dont feel like I've any support at home. And that I'm trying to hold together 3 people by myself. This forum is also the first and only support I've seen anywhere available in Ireland for dads, and although I'm sure it will help, its disheartening to see theres nowhere else that offers any support directly for dads. Anyway, getting it off my chest is a small start even if nothing comes of it
- Started by Adam on May 03, 2018
We have a 3 year old who never slept and my wife suffered with pnd after his birth, received counselling and came through it. We lost a baby late in the pregnancy after this and that affected her badly however went back to counselling and made great progress. She had our 2nd little boy 5 months ago who is another disaster for sleeping again. Over the last months I first caught her getting drunk in the morning by drinking a large amount of brandy very quickly. I removed all alcohol from the house and we had a long loving talk that I thought sorted it but she did it again this time with Solpodene (codine) tablets. I removed them and today she has done it again, (to a lesser extent) but I don't know what she has taken this time. She attends her counsellor every week. I'm terrified that she this could become a long term thing and will do anything and everything to nip it in the bud.
- Started by John on Mar 25, 2016
I'm sure my wife has pnd, she's rejected me and our marriage how do I help her
- Started by Jenny on Dec 21, 2016
I know it an illness but I cannot tell people I have PND, worn out from putting up the front but afraid to tell ln in case I judged as bad MUm
- Started by Julien Clancy on Dec 07, 2018
Hi Dads, I'm producing a six part radio series on the first three years of being a Dad for the first time. It's hosted by Dad of two(3 & 1yrd olds) author & comedian Colm O'Regan and focuses exclusively on the experiences of first time Dads. We cover everything from the Pregnancy, the Birth, the first two weeks and the big milestones right up to 3. As part of this we want to explore Post natal depression in Dads(https://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/mental-health/the-secret-lives-of-postnatally-depressed-dads-31064059.html). If you've experienced this with your first child and got through it, we'd love to hear from you. Please e.mail firstname.lastname@example.org if interested. You can also tell your story anonymously if that helps. We want the series to be as much a resource to new Dads as well as a platform for Dads to talk about all the highs and lows of parenthood so do share. Thanks a million!
- Started by Worried on Nov 28, 2018
I suspect my wife has PND.
She is a fantastic mother of 11 months, but she worries all the time that she is not good enough, not doing the right things and she has a real fear that people will steal our baby,
she has fallen out with family & friends over little things, I suspect it is just to keep distance between them & our baby. she had mood swings from all is well to things are terrible, I reassure her all the time, but this does not land, she is convinced she is doing it all wrong.
I try to talk with her, but she says that everything is "fine".
I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to betray her trust by telling someone about this. can you suggest any ways to help her?
- Started by Patrick on Nov 15, 2018
We have a 2 month old baby girl, why did no one tell me how hard it would be. I worry about her all the time, my wife is coping so much better. The lack of sleep is really getting to me, must have missed that class, is she ever going to sleep the night?
- Started by Pat on Mar 13, 2018
Worried about wife not been good sin birth of baby, she very snappy with me , crying a lot, puting her5self under pressure to be perfect Mum. What should I do
- Started by anonymous on Jan 04, 2018
my wife and i have a 15 month old baby. Prior to having her we used to fight sometimes but not all the time either.
my wife had a very tough labour which was 36 hours long followed by some other complications.
anyway home we came happy out. During the first 5/6 weeks everything was fine. We had a fight around this time where my wife told me she is feeling sad and lonely and wants to leave.
I ignored this and assumed everything would be ok, or just fix itself.
The last month or so i noticed my wife was unhappy. since it was coming up to christmas i didnt want to confront it. Everything changed during christmas when she announced to me that our marriage was over,
She was unhappy, felt lonely, so much so that she cried at night and couldnt sleep either. i am in complete shock. Her family are supporting her decision . She is really good with our daughter and is a great mum.
I on the other hand am fighting hard to try keep her but at this moment she says its over and there is no more i can do. I have given her some space at home and stayed away for a few nights. She wont talk to me and i feel there is nothing i can do.
I have suggested counselling for both of us, or seperate but she refuses saying she does not want to fix things between us.
I have not broached the subject that she might have pnd and i have no way of getting her to see her doctor either..
I'm lost.. any advice ?
i am getting no help from her family who seem to think i am the root of all her unhappiness. we have been very happy before and i am sure we can be again. she also says she no longer loves me.
- Started by Jill on Oct 26, 2017
Just had my fourth child and today told I had PND this never happened before and I just cant cope, feel such a failure. Every day so hard I am crying all the time and everything looks so black. Trying to hide my upset from the other kids and this adding to the pressure. I really thought this would never happen to me, I am so organised and positive, each day feels like a week. Afraid to ask for help as a sign of weakness well thats what I think. Please tell me I will get better