Reply to help!

Posted By Anonymous on Jan 04, 2018

my wife and i have a 15 month old baby. Prior to having her we used to fight sometimes but not all the time either. my wife had a very tough labour which was 36 hours long followed by some other complications. anyway home we came happy out. During the first 5/6 weeks everything was fine. We had a fight around this time where my wife told me she is feeling sad and lonely and wants to leave. I ignored this and assumed everything would be ok, or just fix itself. The last month or so i noticed my wife was unhappy. since it was coming up to christmas i didnt want to confront it. Everything changed during christmas when she announced to me that our marriage was over, She was unhappy, felt lonely, so much so that she cried at night and couldnt sleep either. i am in complete shock. Her family are supporting her decision . She is really good with our daughter and is a great mum. I on the other hand am fighting hard to try keep her but at this moment she says its over and there is no more i can do. I have given her some space at home and stayed away for a few nights. She wont talk to me and i feel there is nothing i can do. I have suggested counselling for both of us, or seperate but she refuses saying she does not want to fix things between us. I have not broached the subject that she might have pnd and i have no way of getting her to see her doctor either.. I'm lost.. any advice ? i am getting no help from her family who seem to think i am the root of all her unhappiness. we have been very happy before and i am sure we can be again. she also says she no longer loves me.

Posted By anonymous on Jan 04, 2018

this is me adding more information, i am obviously not a doctor so maybe she does not have pnd and is genuinely unhappy.

Posted By Emily on Jan 09, 2018

My heart goes out to you, but this isn't the first time I have heard story's like yours. When women are down they often turn against the person closest to them, they feel they are the cause of all their problems. How long are ye together? have ye had problems before? You seem to be doing everything right, giving her space suggesting counselling. Is there a friend that you could get support from that might try to be a go between. Have you support from your family? I would say just take things very slowly ye have a child together so there will be contact which is important. I know you want to make it all better but you must be patient, one step at a time. She is refusing to go to GP and that is sort of normal, women are so afraid of PND they are scared to admit that there might be something wrong. Maybe some counselling might help you, its good to talk to someone. Ring the support group in Cork if you want to talk to someone 021 4922083