- Started by anon on Jan 04, 2018
my wife and i have a 15 month old baby. Prior to having her we used to fight sometimes but not all the time either. my wife had a very tough labour which was 36 hours long followed by some other complications. anyway home we came happy out. During the first 5/6 weeks everything was fine. We had a fight around this time where my wife told me she is feeling sad and lonely and wants to leave. I ignored this and assumed everything would be ok, or just fix itself. The last month or so i noticed my wife was unhappy. since it was coming up to christmas i didnt want to confront it. Everything changed during christmas when she announced to me that our marriage was over, She was unhappy, felt lonely, so much so that she cried at night and couldnt sleep either. i am in complete shock. Her family are supporting her decision . She is really good with our daughter and is a great mum. I on the other hand am fighting hard to try keep her but at this moment she says its over and there is no more i can do. I have given her some space at home and stayed away for a few nights. She wont talk to me and i feel there is nothing i can do. I have suggested counselling for both of us, or seperate but she refuses saying she does not want to fix things between us. I have not broached the subject that she might have pnd and i have no way of getting her to see her doctor either.. I'm lost.. any advice ? i am getting no help from her family who seem to think i am the root of all her unhappiness. we have been very happy before and i am sure we can be again. she also says she no longer loves me.
Also i know i am not a doctor so i cannot be sure she has pnd or not.
i am just very very confused and feel like the wrong move now could spell the end of my marriage
- Started by Anonymous on Dec 14, 2017
Any advice from mothers with PND and how they got through it with their partner? I've been diagnosed with PND and prescribed medication but I'm reluctant to take it. I'm waiting for my first counselling session. Im really feeling the strain on my relationship at the moment we've had a rough year and lost loved ones through in baby's arrival and now pnd we're having a stressful time. I'm tired all the time and struggling to keep up with the house and my 2 kids I'm emotional and feel like I just need a break to recentre I'm doing my best but my partner and I just seem to be fighting I don't think he understands how I feel when I try and talk to him about it he goes in to solution mode but it's not what I need. for example he's a few things on over the next 4 days and is pulled away so I'm left to manage the 2 kids alone for these 4 full days and nights. he's frustrated because he needs to go and can't see why I don't call in friends or family to come down but the plans he made are last minute and people have made plans and it's only 2 weeks before Christmas people have a lot on. Rather then understand he's frustrated with me. I am equally frustrated with him because he doesn't seem to see how hard this is on me. I feel lost and really lonely any advice on getting through this.
- Started by Kayla on Nov 14, 2016
Hi, does anyone know if there are any support groups in Mayo?
- Started by Cm on Dec 14, 2017
At first I felt all the joys of mother hood and now 10 months in I feel like something is blocking my happiness & love. I keep telling myself it’s just the tiredness but I think I’m fooling myself? I’m afraid my daughter is going to be effected because some days I can hardly raise a smile. I’m afraid to seek help as I feel like a bad mother and a failure. I’m also afraid I’ll be ‘watched’ because I’ve admitted what’s going on. All I want is my baby to be brought up in a happy loving home.
- Started by Joana on Nov 22, 2017
Hi. First of all I have to tell the whole story of my last two years. I moved to Ireland with my husband. Adapted perfectly but after a while problems from our past surfaced out and long story short, we decided to divorce. Meanwhile I found the love of my life. My ex never wanted kids no matter what and I wanted them but for some stupid reason I was assuring myself that I don't need them. Like I said we split up in the end and that was one of the reasons(my new partner adores kids). Financial reasons kept me in the same house with my ex for 2 months while separated(separated rooms, living like roommates, minor arguing). He used that situation to snap and rape me on Christmas night. I went to garda in the morning and reported it all. Went through hell of examination, questionings and the process is still on after 11 months. (Sometimes I feel like he is gonna go free about it, like nothing happened). I had to move town with my partner, lived in fear for months not knowing what is going on and if he will haunt me, finances a bust, I had very good career now working in fast food for minimum wage)He is living his dream life. Spending money on fancy dinners and going out, having 3000€ holiday while I struggle to pay off the loan that we mutually got but on my name years ago. He of course has a very young attractive girl that is trying to impress.. basically giving her everything that he never gave me in 7 years. We did divorce but the only way to do it was to agree that the loan stays on me. Stupid, i know, but it was the only way. My dad died suddenly, young, in February. I maxed out more of my credit cards to fly home, pay for the funeral etc. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Unbelievably good, heartwarming and lovely news for me and my partner. Found out that I was pregnant while raped(no chance whatsoever that the baby is my ex's). Fearing the whole pregnancy if it's gonna be ok (got day after pill while pregnant, smoked like a chimney 3 months not knowing I was pregnant-found out while 15 weeks). Got extremely high blood pressure and ended up hospitalised 3 times. Last time I was in before labor, three weeks laying on max dose of pills to get the pressure lower and they didn't work. Thank God, she was born 36+6, emergency section(she started dropping severely) but healthy as a clam. Beautiful, perfect baby. She is 11 weeks now. Breastfeeding was horrible in the beginning cause my nipples cracked so bad I was missing parts of them. I didn't wanna give up no matter what. She started being colicky very fast and we are sleeping on the couch in the living room since we came home. I think colic are going away, breasts are fine, now I enjoy feeding her. She won't sleep in the Moses basket or crib no matter what. During the day yes but nights no way. She is on my chest or lately I am teaching her to be by my side at least and it works. My partner works a lot. He is a darling and unbelievably understanding and kind and a good dad. But I just can't tell him that I am depressed. I can't burden him more. It's not fair. I started feeling very sad, depressed, wanna cry all the time. Thinking bout my dad, finances, my ex, rape case, not sleeping properly, started eating more than needed... the only thing I do all day is watch TV, cook and take care of her. I feel unbelievably alone. No one to talk to. I love her indescribable and I would never harm her or me. But I just feel very bad. Is it possible that I just feel this way cause of all the things that happened to me this year? Can I be just overwhelmed? I can't go to therapy cause I don't have a car or money for public transportation or anyone to watch on her while I'm away. I really don't wanna bother my partner. I wanna avoid any meds if possible.. please, I need an advice... can it be that it will pass with time? Will it get easier?
- Started by Cathy on Aug 17, 2017
This PND is a terrible illness, feel so lonely no one to talk to no family around. My Husband works long hours and I feel I cant be worrying him with my problems. Dont know how to help myself, the thoughts just keep going around in my head.
- Started by Trish on Aug 01, 2017
Have had terrible Post natal Depression for the last months and really worried that it will have an effect on my baby. there are days that I just cant smile and others where I cant stop crying. I feel so guilty and am so afraid that this will effect him in some way.
- Started by Trish on Jul 25, 2017
I have 3 kids had PND on second and just told have it again, I am so afraid to go on Medication as I hated the side effects. I was so sure that I would be ok this time thought I had everything covered, I feel so let down.
- Started by Anonomous on Jun 27, 2017
Hi I have just been told today that I have postnatal depression my baby is 3 months old and I'm scared to take medication I have slot of challenges at the moment my partner in prison I have a tree year old and very alone any advice.
- Started by Anonymous on Jun 10, 2017
I have two kids,and after having our 2nd I didn't have the same instant feelings as first time round. She had severe colic and I literally slept on a couch with her on my chest for 3 months straight. Things all improved and I am so lucky with them both. But for the majority of the last 12 months (she's now 2) I am feeling extremely low, no motivation, suffer mood swings and find myself being so irritated by things that have never bothered me before. I also get bad cabin fever being at home and find my days so mundane, I used to be really outgoing and bubbly but feel like a totally different person. Is it possible this could be postnatal depressed so late on?? I love my girls, but feel like I want to escape most days and am slowly crumbling.