- Started by Joana on Nov 22, 2017
Hi. First of all I have to tell the whole story of my last two years. I moved to Ireland with my husband. Adapted perfectly but after a while problems from our past surfaced out and long story short, we decided to divorce. Meanwhile I found the love of my life. My ex never wanted kids no matter what and I wanted them but for some stupid reason I was assuring myself that I don't need them. Like I said we split up in the end and that was one of the reasons(my new partner adores kids). Financial reasons kept me in the same house with my ex for 2 months while separated(separated rooms, living like roommates, minor arguing). He used that situation to snap and rape me on Christmas night. I went to garda in the morning and reported it all. Went through hell of examination, questionings and the process is still on after 11 months. (Sometimes I feel like he is gonna go free about it, like nothing happened). I had to move town with my partner, lived in fear for months not knowing what is going on and if he will haunt me, finances a bust, I had very good career now working in fast food for minimum wage)He is living his dream life. Spending money on fancy dinners and going out, having 3000€ holiday while I struggle to pay off the loan that we mutually got but on my name years ago. He of course has a very young attractive girl that is trying to impress.. basically giving her everything that he never gave me in 7 years. We did divorce but the only way to do it was to agree that the loan stays on me. Stupid, i know, but it was the only way. My dad died suddenly, young, in February. I maxed out more of my credit cards to fly home, pay for the funeral etc. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Unbelievably good, heartwarming and lovely news for me and my partner. Found out that I was pregnant while raped(no chance whatsoever that the baby is my ex's). Fearing the whole pregnancy if it's gonna be ok (got day after pill while pregnant, smoked like a chimney 3 months not knowing I was pregnant-found out while 15 weeks). Got extremely high blood pressure and ended up hospitalised 3 times. Last time I was in before labor, three weeks laying on max dose of pills to get the pressure lower and they didn't work. Thank God, she was born 36+6, emergency section(she started dropping severely) but healthy as a clam. Beautiful, perfect baby. She is 11 weeks now. Breastfeeding was horrible in the beginning cause my nipples cracked so bad I was missing parts of them. I didn't wanna give up no matter what. She started being colicky very fast and we are sleeping on the couch in the living room since we came home. I think colic are going away, breasts are fine, now I enjoy feeding her. She won't sleep in the Moses basket or crib no matter what. During the day yes but nights no way. She is on my chest or lately I am teaching her to be by my side at least and it works. My partner works a lot. He is a darling and unbelievably understanding and kind and a good dad. But I just can't tell him that I am depressed. I can't burden him more. It's not fair. I started feeling very sad, depressed, wanna cry all the time. Thinking bout my dad, finances, my ex, rape case, not sleeping properly, started eating more than needed... the only thing I do all day is watch TV, cook and take care of her. I feel unbelievably alone. No one to talk to. I love her indescribable and I would never harm her or me. But I just feel very bad. Is it possible that I just feel this way cause of all the things that happened to me this year? Can I be just overwhelmed? I can't go to therapy cause I don't have a car or money for public transportation or anyone to watch on her while I'm away. I really don't wanna bother my partner. I wanna avoid any meds if possible.. please, I need an advice... can it be that it will pass with time? Will it get easier?
- Started by Cathy on Aug 17, 2017
This PND is a terrible illness, feel so lonely no one to talk to no family around. My Husband works long hours and I feel I cant be worrying him with my problems. Dont know how to help myself, the thoughts just keep going around in my head.
- Started by Trish on Aug 01, 2017
Have had terrible Post natal Depression for the last months and really worried that it will have an effect on my baby. there are days that I just cant smile and others where I cant stop crying. I feel so guilty and am so afraid that this will effect him in some way.
- Started by Trish on Jul 25, 2017
I have 3 kids had PND on second and just told have it again, I am so afraid to go on Medication as I hated the side effects. I was so sure that I would be ok this time thought I had everything covered, I feel so let down.
- Started by Anonomous on Jun 27, 2017
Hi I have just been told today that I have postnatal depression my baby is 3 months old and I'm scared to take medication I have slot of challenges at the moment my partner in prison I have a tree year old and very alone any advice.
- Started by Anonymous on Jun 10, 2017
I have two kids,and after having our 2nd I didn't have the same instant feelings as first time round. She had severe colic and I literally slept on a couch with her on my chest for 3 months straight. Things all improved and I am so lucky with them both. But for the majority of the last 12 months (she's now 2) I am feeling extremely low, no motivation, suffer mood swings and find myself being so irritated by things that have never bothered me before. I also get bad cabin fever being at home and find my days so mundane, I used to be really outgoing and bubbly but feel like a totally different person. Is it possible this could be postnatal depressed so late on?? I love my girls, but feel like I want to escape most days and am slowly crumbling.
- Started by Anonymous on May 22, 2017
Hi all I was diagnosed with PND in March I also lost a very close friend to cancer after Christmas. I am doing ok now not taking medication going for counselling & finding this is helping alot I am on sick leave from work & have been signed off again for another few weeks but my boss doesn't seem too impressed with this so I am now starting to panic that I will have no job to go back too can you be let go for sick leave? Like I said I have been doing ok but this really has me so upset & stressed out all day
- Started by Hanna on May 15, 2017
I am a new mom the past 2 months. Single mother, as father refuses to believe it's he's child and refuses to take DNA test. Currently living back at home with my parents trying to find a place to live on the HAP scheme, not having any luck. All this while being very depressed and upset. Easily the hardest thing I have ever gone through and still going through. On medication but doesn't seem to be working. Will it ever stop 😔
- Started by Becky on May 11, 2017
I had my baby 2 years ago, I never really accepted I had PND until he was 1. It was an incredibly difficult time as he had reflux, a problem with his neck after the long labour and we also moved house. I blamed all of these things and thought it would pass.
I feel like I never got the bonding time with him and still struggle to enjoy my time with him. It can feel like a effort some of the time. How do I move forward and make up for lost time ? I don't have much support around me, my husband is amazing ! My friends all had babies around the same time and had lovely experiences which made me back away from them. I don't know how to move forward and let go of the feelings I have. I have a older teenager too and it was just such a lovely experience having her. I know it shouldn't feel like this and it makes me so sad to not have the same feelings this time.
- Started by Val on Apr 27, 2017
Hi I currently suffering post natal depression and anxiety disorder I'm 9 months in and wish it would just go away I'm on medication and I see a mental health nurse every fortnight I just feel so lost and hopeless I feel like I'm numb I cry and sit not talking for hours I'm so tired feeling this way I just want to feel like my old self again I'm still young enough I'm 32 I've four amazing kids and a partner who adores me I should be happy. My partner gave up work to look after me as I can't bare to be left on my own for fear of losing control and harming myself please someone tell me I'll be ok