- Started by Paula on Jun 18, 2016
I have had Postnatal depression 4 months, I cannot come to terms with it. I had a great pregnancy and was so looking forward to being a Mum, why did this happen to me? I fought against going on meds but had to give in as I was getting worse. I hate going to get my tablets (what will people think) I feel such a failure, the only person I talk to is my GP, worry that people guess from my face and my anxiety.
Please somone tell me this will go away and I will be my own bubbly self again
- Started by Felicity on Jun 06, 2016
I have been diagnosed with PND and have been on medication for over 3 weeks now and have started counselling but am so scared that there feelings of anxiety and inadequacy will never go away. I am really bad today and the thought of leaving the house literally terrifies me. I feel that I just don't have the energy to care for my girls and am so scared of the effect that this will have on my 4 year old as I have gone from being a fun mammy to a shadow of my former self....this is taking the life out of me. I am also so scared that my husband will have enoughof my moping about. I am throwing everything I have at this to try and function normally again but don't feel like anything is working. Please tell me that there is good of this going away because right now every minute of every day is a struggle. I adore my husband and girls and just want to be who I was before
- Started by carla on May 26, 2016
I'm not sure if I have PND but it's 2 months after my son was born and I still feel sad. I live with my mum so get help during the day but it's night times I find so lonely. My boyfriend lives and works in cork so he's away a lot. Even when he's here he doesn't always help me at night. I find it hard to talk to him. Also my little boy won't sleep. I don't know if I feel resentment or if I'm depressed. I really don't know what to do.
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- Started by on May 26, 2016
My baby is 3 months old. I love her and I love my husband so much but my brain hurts from trying not to cry. Firstly, I never wanted children. But my husband considered it a deal breaker and after a lot of serious consideration I agreed, my mother was a real mammy and my sister who had an unplanned teenage pregnancy turned out to be unbelievably maternal so I thought it would be alright. My husband's brother is the main caregiver to his children as his wife is not really maternal either, we often discussed that our family would need to be like that if we went ahead with it.
What a donkey I was. I believed him and it turns out he was just nodding and agreeing, believing that once the baby arrived I would turn into his own mother. He works away during the week (always did, I don't complain about this) but when he comes home at the weekend he prioritises the farm and his friends and what he considers his entitlement to a few pints. He will rock in on Friday, lift her, have a laugh, then pass her back and head out to feed cows. His weekend is taken up with anything but us. He regularly leaves the house to do something and doesn't return until the next morning. I appreciate very much that he's the only one working (I am not entitled to maternity pay) which is a lot of pressure, but it hurts that I'm last on the list.
Secondly, I'm terrified. I've been terrified from the moment I discovered I was pregnant and it hasn't let up. I knew I'd be like this which is exactly why I never wanted kids. I'm 7 yrs older than my youngest brother and as our mother died when we were young I've always felt like he was "mine". He's 27 now and I lie awake nights worrying that something will happen him. So obviously this has now also happened with my daughter .... I knew it would. I have a sick feeling of terror in my stomach constantly, I feel certain something will happen to her. I can't visualise her grown up because I'm certain she will die. It haunts me.
I don't think this qualifies as "depression" though. I'm tired but only a reasonable amount. I don't have a problem getting up with her in the morning. I love her dearly and would do anything to prevent harm to her.
What is this? I don't want to hop on a pnd bandwagon if everyone feels like this. But I don't want to waste the first months of her life crying if there is a little tablet or whatever that can just ping me back to normality.
- Started by Joanne on May 26, 2016
My baby is 10 weeks old and I'm not coping very well. I'm anxious all the time and can't relax. I question every little decision that I have to make for him. I've been trying to get him into a daily routine to see if that helps but I can't seem to get him into it. I end up feeling like I've failed and that I'm a bad mother. Is this PND. Most days I don't want to leave the house as I feel guilty that I'm not at home helping him get into a routine'
- Started by Ann on May 12, 2016
Hi all, just need to get my feelings out. I have two beautiful girls, 4 and six months. I have my all to my first baby and just feel like I have nothing left to give to my second...which is just the most horrible feeling. I adore her but feel that she is being short changed as she isn't getting the same focus that my first had. I am trying to be all things to them both which I know rationally I can't. I feel like a failure of I am not on my 'A' game all the time and just can't seem to accept that it is ok to drop my standards. I am worrying about everything and can't live in the moment at all. I adore my girls so much and deep down know that I am doing a good job but just don't feel it. I am so afraid of letting them down and feel that I have because the doc has prescribed me meds. I just feel like a failure. They are both so good and that makes me feel even more inadequate because I feel that I'd have an excuse for feeling this way of that were difficult children. My biggest fear is that I will let them down by not giving them my all but as I said I don't feel I have anything left to give...which scares me so much. I feel so alone at the moment because my husband and everybody else keep telling me how great I am doing...which just mean it's true....right? So why can't I convince myself of this. I hate how I am feeling right now
- Started by Ciara on May 04, 2016
Hi all, I just have a question. I struggled with depression for years on and off but I thought I'd really recovered and had been happy for about 2 years. I then got pregnant and I just wouldn't let myself get down about things because I felt guilty that my negative thoughts would damage the baby. I had a beautiful baby girl 7 mths ago and I'd do anything for her. I have kept strong, remained extremely calm but since I had to return to work 6 weeks ago I don't feel like I'm coping. I'm exhausted, my husband isn't as hands on as I thought he would be so I'm still her primary care giver. It's almost as though I'm a single parent, I do everything myself; everything with the baby, every night feed, the cooking and cleaning of the house and now I've a 50hr stressful week to deal with. I know I've been bottling up how much I'm not ok but I just feel tonight that if I started crying I really wouldn't stop. I feel I've left my daughter down so much, I'm not getting on with her dad, I don't think we will be together much longer and I feel I've failed her. I hate my job and feel I'm missing out on my baby but know if we split up I have to have an income to support us. It's like I'm trapped? Does this happen all new mums? I know I can't continue this way and that something has gotta give but I don't know where to start.
- Started by Dee on Apr 30, 2016
I have been suffering from pnd now for almost 9 months now. Been on seroxate for 6months. I am finding it very hard. I can get up and go to work but find it hard to get a handle on intrusive negative thoughts. I just feel like it will never end. Has anyone else had this experience. I am getting soooo frustrated. Would love dome insight from others. Thank you
- Started by Marie on Apr 05, 2016
I was so excited when I discovered I was pregnant, read lods of maternity books and thought I totally prepared. I always have been independant and self assured and I end up with PND, I just could not believe it. I pretended everything was perfect (putting myself under so much pressure) the only one that I confided in was my husband. I am 3 months down the road and have so many up and down days. Feel I not a proper Mum and wonder will I ever get better.
- Started by AnnMarie on Mar 21, 2016
I'm a Mum of two, a 16 year old and a 9 month old, each time I got PDN, each time the shame nearly crippled me. I dont know where this shame came from, and if it was simply a symptom of the PDN for me, but I know it stopped me seeking help for a long time in both cases. My experience with depression has led me to do a degree in Psychotherapy and I'm in third year presently and conducting a research project into PDN. I would be thrilled if any of you could fill this in. It is entirely anonymous and I just have a short piece to read first:
I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude in advance for taking the time to participate in this survey, providing you choose to do so. I have a personal interest in the suffering of Post Natal Depression and the link between shame and seeking treatment. As part of my research as a trainee psychotherapist, it is part of my third year criteria to conduct a research into an area of my choice.
My own personal experience of Post Natal Depression and feelings of shame associated with this, led me to choose this particular topic for my research project. In order to conduct my research I have decided to devise a questionnaire on monkey survey directed to mothers that have experienced Post Natal Depression and ask participants to lend their own personal experience to the body of my work.
These questions can potentially evoke feelings of sadness or ignite a reminder of a possibly very painful time in your life, to this end I would like to list out the relevant support services available for PDN or indeed depression of any kind. I would also like to lend my own services to counsel a participant who has been affected directly by the participation in my questionnaire. My personal contact number is 085 737 8582, please feel free to reach out to me for support. Please find below relevant support services:
With regard to confidentiality, please be aware that your identity and contribution to the study are anonymous, as is the nature of the â€˜Monkey Surveyâ€™ internet site. If for any reason you are unable to complete the survey, you have the right to withdraw. Please find the link below to complete the questionnaire.
Many thanks for your contribution to my study and I wish you the very best of luck with your own research projects.