If you scroll back through the forum history you will see that I posted an almost identical message to yours. It is a long road but ultimately this awfulness will pass. Trust that it will. Time may stand still. Minutes may seem like days but it will pass. Try mindfulness, writing a journal if you can, listening to music if you can. Find someone who has come through depression ..you will be surprised how many people you know who have. They are the BEST because they are non judgemental and you can see that they have endured it and emerged the other side. I was so so unwell but I am off all medication and doing well. It is possible.
My baby is 3 months old and I been diagnoised with Postnatal depression a month ago, wasnt sleeping or eating full of anxiety. Felt so guilty that I not proper Mum, this not what book says. Took a lot of courage to go to GP, on meds since but they not the miracle I thought now I do get odd good days followed by really bad days. Please tell me it will end, I seem to be lost not the old me so unsure of myself, the day seems so long and affraid to tell people how bad I am.
Sue dont be so hard on yourself, it is not your fault it is an illness. It is not what we expect when we have a baby, I was like you couldnt eat or sleep full of anxiety (that the worst) I did go on meds but they take a while to work and I definitely felt worse before I felt better. You are not a bad Mother you are doing your best, one day at a time, try an get some exercise. Join a support group if there is one in your area so important to talk to other Mums that have been there. Try to be positive and get out of the house. Go back to your GP and talk about how you are feeling