Reply to Ashamed and embarrassed

Posted By Anonymous on Mar 21, 2023

I am a 5 month boy and I think I have had untreated PND since the beginning. I had a tough birth and struggled greatly with breastfeeding only making it to three months and felt like a totally failure. I am embarrassed at how little I can do on my own with the baby. People keep suggesting baby and mother groups or meeting for coffee but I don’t feel I can do it. I am deeply ashamed of how I let myself go at the end of the pregnancy and during the first few weeks when I couldn’t move off the couch due to c section recovery and a baby that fed round the clock. Locking myself away from the world and cancelling any plans I had seems like the best option. My sister tells me he’s a perfect baby and I’m lucky which just makes me feel even more incompetent. I’m drowning in it all and feel like I’m doing nothing right. I’m ruining the experience of our first child for my husband and I feel they’d be better off just the two of them without having to tip toe around me. I have no one to turn to as my family are very much of the view get on with it and stop indulging yourself. I don’t know how much longer I can manage.

Posted By Anonymous on Mar 21, 2023

Hi thanks for getting in contact with us firstly please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed , being new to motherhood can be very overwhelming and we dont always hear the hard sides to being a new mom your life is completely turned upside down and you have to adjust to your new life. please dont be ashamed of yourself at all you got to 3 months that is amazing some mothers just give it a go once or twice and cant continue so that is really good, as for yourself you will get back to how you felt better in time once baby reaches a good routine you will slowly get yourself back on track, try and take time for yourself a walk a coffee a catch up with a friend make sure you mind you. also have a chat with your GP and PHN tell them how you are feeling it will feel good to off load. Contact us here in the office on 0214922083 or where we can have a chat and give you support and try guide you we also have a support group in cork monthly if you are in cork. please take care i am sure you are doing amazing job don't be too hard on yourself. jennifer PND

Posted By Anonymous on Mar 31, 2023

Hi, Please don't be hard on yourself. You are doing a great job even if you don't think so. I experienced very bad PND with my first child too so I completely get the feelings you are describing. I wanted to say that as hard as it felt for a while, it did eventually get better. Slowly things started getting easier and I felt more confident looking after my son. You will slowly feel better and more like yourself. In the meantime you just have to be a little patient and do whatever you feel helps even if it only helps a little. Sending you hugs. I hope you feel better very soon.

Posted By Anonymous on Apr 18, 2023

Of course your family would not be better off with out you, please try an delete this thought. No one can replace a mother. We have to stop being so hard on ourselves, there is no such thing as the perfect Mother we just must do the best we can and look on positive. With every month that passes your little boy get bigger and and more interaction between you. Try an do something nice for yourself, go for coffee go for a walk, it is so important to get out of the house. You are fantastic breastfeeding for 3 months brilliant clap your self on the back well done. Try to take one day at a time and list your achievements at end of every day. Try to keep a diary of how your feeling every day some days we find we have better moments that we dont realise. Talk to somone that understands. Get in touch with support group they are peer support and have been there. You will come out the other side, very important to talk to your GP. Make small plans, get your hair done, walk around Pennys (this always cheers me up)

Posted By Swann on May 19, 2023

Hi, I have a 15month old and went to drs when they were 6 months old and they said my baby was too happy for me to have PND!! I then went back to Dr's when they were 11 months old and was taken more seriously Currently I'm taking sertraline and they do seem to be helping.... I felt ashamed and scared that people thought I couldn't cope with my baby so at first didn't tell anyone how I was feeling! But as soon as I did tell people they were very supportive I still have off days but I am a lot better than I was before... definitely talking to people and going Dr's will help you massively! PND is quite common so don't feel like you're on your own Just realising and acknowledging how you're feeling makes you an amazing mum!! Hang in there you'll get through it, I promise 🙏

Posted By Lyn on Jul 09, 2023

Hi I can relate to you so much. I am recovering from a traumatic birth and it's no joke. Motherhood feels hard because it is hard. I have feelings of being ashamed how I struggle on my own with my son too. I managed to go to one sensory class and found it too much. I also find family are not supporting me and it's a huge loss to deal with. I try to see how they do not understand and have own concerns and worries in life to deal with. I wonder have you spoke to your husband about these feelings that only thing helps me? Also I've done things gradually with my son have a list of goals I want to do and I'm trying to work through them. Recently I took him to park on my own and walked around huge achievement which built my confidence slightly. I get it!! I also speak to a counselor which helps. I aim to get out now once a day sometimes it's a 10 min walk but it helps. Eating too is so important I relised I was going hours without food or water. It doesn't help.