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Subject: At my lowest 2 Replies

  • Started by Monica on Jan 14, 2015
Not sure where to start...I have a 4months baby girl that is my life, but I feel like I'm going insane. I've been exclusively breastfeeding since she was born but I am now physically exhausted, not to say psychologically. I can't get her to take bottles (either expressed milk or formula). She doesn't want dummies. She's awake every day until 4 or 5am and barely naps during the day.my doctor put me on medication for depression but I'm not taking it because I'm terrified it will harm her.my partner keeps supporting me but we don't stick to the commitments of routines and stuff, me because I'm barely standing on my feet and him...well...not sure. I am completely alone in Ireland no family at all and the few friends have their own lives to deal with. I feel like falling on the floor with desperation. What should I do? I have to go back to work in 4weeks!! Help! Thanks for letting me say this to someone without having to put my I'm very wrong mask...
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Subject: post natal? ??? 2 Replies

  • Started by Sarah on Jan 15, 2015
Hi I'm not too sure where to start...... my youngest has just turned 2 and every since I went back to work a year and a half ago I'm feeling very low. I'm unable to interact socially anymore. I can't seem to get involved with my work colleagues on the same level as I used to I can even make eye contact with them. I'm feeling very anxious and on edge all the time. I don't sleep very well it feels like I nap instead of sleep which isn't down to my son as he's slept through the night for a long time. I guess I'm just wondering would these be symptoms of post natal depression or something unrelated. I'm not too sure and to be honest I'm scared I'm pushing everyone away is affecting my work and my sanity.
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Subject: hard to see point of life 3 Replies

  • Started by angst on Jan 01, 2015
Have had severe pnd since birth of baby #2. I thought I was doing ok but now I cannot see purpose of anything. My children are happy but I am not. I.honestly cannot see my purpose.
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  • Started by siobhan on Dec 22, 2014
Just found out I'm pregnant but im worried ill get pnd again. Anyone get it again after haven first time around.
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  • Started by Joan on Jan 09, 2015
My baby is 3 months old and is so good he sleeps and eats and is such a pleasure. I know I am so lucky but I feel terrible, anxious all the time, cant sleep or eat have lost interest in everything. I thought things would be so differant, what should I do, havent told anyone and havent gone to my GP. I feel like a failure, even writing this makes me feel terrible. Please reassure me that I am not alone and that I will get better.
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Subject: Leading a double life. 2 Replies

  • Started by Rachel on Dec 01, 2014
So I just recently found this page and I feel as though I can relate to what everyone on here is going through. I have a two and half year old and an eight week old daughter. My first birth experience was awful. Very traumatic and my baby ended up needing surgery. It took me a very long time to recover even after my baby was released from hospital. My second birth was fast and so much less stressful. We were even allowed go home in 24 hours but as soon as we got home there were issues. I was trying to breastfeed and it wasn't working. Lots of screaming and then once she was bottle fed loads of reflux to top it all off she never slept during the day. It turned out she had a ptt. We got it released but things were still bad. We have taken her to a doc and osteo but everything I have tried hasten worked. I was initially delighted but as time has gone on I find myself getting more and more depressed. I have tried talking to my partner but he doesn't know what to say. I don't have s support system as I don't have any family here and all of my friends either work or don't have kids. I have reached out in my area but there doesn't seem to be much going on. At this point I am certain I have pnd. I feel anxious most of the time ,frustrated and I cry a lot. I love my baby but she doesn't seem to get much comfort from me when she is upset which is incredibly hard to deal with. My son was always so chilled out and if he did get upset if I picked him up and held him close he would relax. I feel so angry that my partner gets to leave everyday. I feel like I can't get anything done because she screams so much during the day and while she screams it upsets my other child so then the two of them cry. I even tried to reach out to one of my close friends but she didn't seem to know what to say almost like she didn't want to talk about it. I don't drive and my partner starts a new job next week were he will be gone a lot and I am dreading it. Even when he runs out the shop it's really tough. Up to this point I feel like I've kept all of this hidden from everyone. I am supposed to be over the moon. I have a healthy baby and my husband just got a new job. I feel pretty lost but I also feel like by the time I meet everyone else's needs there is nothing left for me. I don't even feel like I have the time to deal with this.
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Subject: Confused and feeling alone 3 Replies

  • Started by Flor on Dec 05, 2014
Hi all, I really don't know if I am suffering from pnd or if it's jut the baby blues. I have a beautiful 14week old and I truly love her with all my heart but I just can't seem to find any happiness in myself or in my partner. I do really love him but at times I just want to scream at him I get so angry and I've never been like this before. I cry every day, I just feel like I'm not doing anything right, I can't stand the sight of myself since giving birth, I feel like a hideous stretch mark, wrinkly skin covered monster. Sometimes I wonder if we made a mistake having a baby, then I feel so guilty, a mother shouldn't think of their child as a burden. I just never get a break, he can't help at night he has no patience and gets stressed out and shouts at the baby so I have to look after her every time she gets upset, I can't stand what this has done to us and to me, I have no one to turn to, no friends in his town and family isn't an option. I would love to e able to go for a walk each day but by the time the housework is done and baby is settle its often 4pm before I can shower or even have breakfast, finding it hard to care about food anyway. I can't finish meals and even though she's fast asleep right now I'm wide awake, I'm having about 3/4hours sleep a night, all I keep thinking is how lucky he is he can sleep and still go out to meet his friends or go for a few pints, I don't drive and it's an hour walk to town, I just want to feel happy and enjoy my baby, we were trying to have her for so long I feel like a monster.
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Subject: What to do 2 Replies

  • Started by Lisa on Nov 25, 2014
Hi everyone, This is my first time posting anywhere like this. I have a beautiful little boy, 5 months old. since last weekend all Ive done is cry! I have moments where I have actually lost my breath. I always said to myself if there is even a hint of PND I was off to the doctors, which I did. She agreed that there was a depression there and prescribed me Prozac and a counsellor. I tried to explain exactly how I was feeling to her...here goes.... I have a good life, good husband, good job, nice home, good friends etc. My father was recently diagnosed with cancer, and although the doctors seems positive about a recovery, I have become obsessed with both my parents dying. I cant cope with the thought of being on this planet without them. Even typing this is making me really upset. My mum is in good health, was at the doctors last year and apart from B12 all was good. My dad took his diagnosis v bad, and I think because of the hormone therapy, his short term memory is shot to bits.. its v hard to watch him shuffle about now, He's only a shadow of the man he was 12 months ago. This is all taking its toll on my mum, who is exhausted. I have more or less cried non stop since sunday morning. Im just exhausted. What do I do, is this PND or Depression? Thank you xx
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Subject: Medication and excercise? 2 Replies

  • Started by Suzanne on Nov 25, 2014
Hi, I have pnd and just been diagnosed now. my baby is now 11months old. i have just started my medication and on 10mg escitalopram. i feel very muggy and want to start exercise to lift me i am afraid though i might get too dizzy or the impact this might have if i start the exercise. Can you give me advice?
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  • Started by Claire on Nov 18, 2014
Hi Everyone, Just discovered this site and wanted to share my story with anyone who has concern over there own mental health. I was an extremley outgoing fun person, always the person cracking the jokes on a night out, life was fun and i loved it. I never thought i would be one of many who would suffer with depression in my life. I recall going to my first hospital appointment and getting a pack. In the pack was a PND leaflet, i didnt even read it - me? no way! The lead up to my due day, i worked hard, i had a stressful job - ambitious career woman, stayed away in hotesl alot but loved my job. Due day came, 10 days over - induction, i can honestly say i was tramuatised after the birth of my son. laboured all the way , then emergency C section - i had NO idea how hard it would all be. Then there he was, this beautiful little 10lb bundle looking at me - and i was zoned out. I should have known, i had constant high when i was in hospital - was on TOP of the world, hyper, couldnt sleep at night, in the hospital or at home. WIRED to the moon - then the PHN called and advised me to try rest. My husband did the ngiht feeds, but i got up each time to make sure he did it right. OCD kicked in, i had to keep the house spotless, everything had to be right for my baby, he slept and i cleaned, no one could feed him right, no one could hold him right. Resentment kicked in, bad thoughts entered my head - did i love him? did he love me? Am i showing him enough love? I felt cold, tired and useless. it caught up on me, i stoped showering everyday like a used too, i avoided going out, i felt ugly, smelly, concious! I felt everyone stared at me in a restaurant when i held my baby, or fed him - was i doing it right, am i been judged? Anxiety kicked in- it felt like my nerves shook in public. If he cried, i just tightened up, it was like a tremendous stress to try and console him. My husband had no idea, i hid it well, but i snapped at him, was constantly downing his ability to mind our son. He couldnt do anything right. One night, 3 months in, i sat on her bed and i cried, boy did i cry - i wanted to end the pain i was causing him, me, our son. I never harmed him, but i had disturbing thoughts of someone taking him away, kidnapping him - how would i feel if that happened, would i be sad? That was the end for me- i went to counselling that week, then to my GP whent on lexapro immediately. It took awhile, had to increase the dose, but 11 months on i feel a little normal. I am stressed with my line of work, but i juggle,its difficult and only a few weeks ago i could actually handle my son in public if he was upset, with the feeling of PANIC come over me. I am not there yet, but i am getting there. There is NO shame in have PND, it can happend ANYONE. IT had been a long road, with lots of bends and will continue to be but my son is amazing, i love him more and more each day.
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