- Started by Anon on Mar 19, 2019
Hi ladies. I'm a mom of two, a little girl now 6 and little boy 4months old. I suffered so badly with my first and it wasn't until she was 6months old that I sought help from my gp and realised it was PND. We planned baby number 2 and I had a plan in place with my gp should this happen again and sure enough those feelings began to come back and I started on Strenaline and was doing fantastic. I felt I was being very pro active with my mental health and swore for the sake of my first born I would ensure I got help as soon as I noticed any signs. Now I'm beginning to feel very low, uninterested again (even though I'm on the max dose) and i feel all this is due to me having to return to work the end of next month. I dont feel mentally ready to juggle all this and go back to work and leave my kids, it's making me feel so so anxious. Any mom's in the same position?
- Started by Anonymous on Mar 04, 2020
I was at my Gp Monday of last week (10 days ago) as I have pnd and anxiety. He put my on 10mg Lexapro. I'm not sure that it has helped much so far. Does it get worse before getting better?
I'm due back to work in 8 weeks and am returning on promotion. I am unsure that I will be well enough for the extra responsibility and pressure. Has anyone any idea about whether pnd is general sick leave or still pregnancy related? That's if I am not well enough. Also, should I tell my employer the scenario now as they really are depending on me returning due to staffing needs etc.
- Started by Just a mum doing the best she can on Mar 06, 2020
Iv tried to write this post on a few occasions but I couldn’t fully articulate what I wanted to say so here we go !
Lying in the hospital with a bandage around my arm and hooked up to a drip I thought to myself how did I get here. 15 months before this I walked out of the same hospital with a loving partner and beautiful healthy baby.
I had a long difficult labour that ended in an emergency c section, post partum haemorrhage, multiple blood transfusions, an infection and also a problem with my stomach which meant I had to fast for 48 hours. That’s right no tea & toast as promised ! The worst of all this was ending up in acute care which meant my baby and I were separated for our 1st night.
The moment she was handed to me I immediately tried to breast feed. I might not have had the birth plan but I was intent on breast feeding. Even the lactation consultant looked awkward after another unsuccessful attempt, bloodied nipple and pretty much all midwives on duty having a go at trying to help my baby to latch but it wasn’t the latch it was the milk. It never came in because of the blood loss after the labour.
If I could describe post natal depression and PTSD as a graph it would be like the stock markets in 2008. Debilitating anxiety, rage, mood swings and finally depression that persisted right through my daughters first birthday.
I reached out to everyone. GP, nurse in my gp office, 2 different councellors, 3 qychs doctors. I tried 4 different anti depressants, CBD oil, Xanax, sleeping tablets. I was so desperate at one point I nearly went to see a medium !
Things got so bad my relationship with my partner broke down. We were actively planning a self build and a wedding. All our dreams ripped away because of this dark horrible depression that in my partners words stole the woman he fell in love with.
So that’s what led me to taking an overdose and hurting my arm. This didn’t just happen this happened after months of begging and pleading for help. I had no dignity left, I felt worthless and I genuinely believed I was a bad mother for feeling this way and that my baby and partner would be better off without me.
I would love to say everything started to get better after that incident at the hospital but it didn’t. In fact it got worse but I won’t scare you because all of this has led me to writing this post.
By chance one day I was yet again standing in my doctors office. I should of had shares in his practice for all the money I handed over to him through countless visits. I saw this leaflet stuffed amoung other leaflets.
Nurture Health. I gave the number a call and Irene picked up. It was a Friday afternoon and weekends were always my worst, I don’t know why. Maybe because I knew people I might need to call on would be out of the office. Irene read me out a statement and apart from one detail I said my god you are reading out me. Honestly this statement was how I was feeling. I was like this puzzle smashed to pieces since the day my baby was born. People had tried to put me back together but it’s like when your jamming pieces of a puzzle that don’t fit and then you throw some sellotape at it in the hope that might just work.
Irene put me in touch with one of the councellors. I walked out of our first session like I had been put back together again. No prescriptions, no referrals, no judgement just listening and complete and utter understanding.
I don’t know what I would of done if I never found that leaflet and I often wonder and worry at the women out there who aren’t so solution driven as me. If finding solutions despite countless failure wasn’t part of what I do for a living, I too could of been a stat in woman who commit suicide following PND.
Finally after 15 months with the help of this amazing organisation I can begin to heal.
Your not a bad mum, it’s not your fault, you didn’t cause this and you can move on from this.
Thank you for reading.
- Started by Nessa on Dec 04, 2019
Hi Guys, i just saw this today and thought id message for some support.
I've a 14 month old boy, never had any difficulty bonding with him, but have been feeling low and isolated since prob last xmas. I started back smoking around tgen I literally chain smoke and drink coffee everyday. We moved to a new area at the start of my babas life i did go to mother and baby groups and baby massage, but stopped going to baby massage, i just wanted to stay in the house smoking outside, i was finding it more difficult to put on facade with people and this cyclecontinued, id make excuses for not meeting people usually my child was sick. He started solids at 4 months and at tge start i was great at pureeing everything. But i struggled at the dinners for him, hes not 14 months and has never had meat, i also have an obsession about him choking, he now eats very little in creche etc .. i put off going to my parents cause my mom doesnt understand why im still pureeing, and why he doesn't eat mash or pasta or anything. I am not great at eating, and now mealtimes in our house are so frustrating because he eats nothing, i blame myself , because i became disinterested, stopped readingthe nutrition books was too much of an effort to go to grocey shopping its just terrible. My child is always sick with throat infections and again i blame myself cause of the smell of smoke on my clothes. Things with my partner are not great he has hisown issues with drink etc. I think hes so frustrated with me now, when the weekend comes aroundin my head im like yeah we'll go to animal farm with him or something but i end up staying in my dressing gown tol afternoon, and going back to bed with mu son for his nap
.its not right for my poor baba, my partner is not very supportive, not once has he got up in the middle of the night to my son, i went out one night with the girls before returning to work, my child was up at midnight crying in bed with daddy wet nappy got no bottle, and he just gave him to me and gave put to me for going out on a sunday night, ive never gone out since then , im afraid that daddy doesnt look after him, also my partner got really drunk oct bank holiday, where police were called because he tried to choke me, everyone now not talking to me unless i move away from him, so now im totally on my own with no family support and my black hole is getting worse, insteas of my partner giving me support i got abused for going out or for him being frustrated with how im behaving. Im off work for two weeks on stress leave, i cant face getting up to go to work or put my child in creche, in the back of my mind , im also trying to think about leaving my partner maybe so all this on top of PND is crippling me, i exist now i dont live
- Started by Anonymous on Jun 08, 2019
I was wondering if anyone has taken lexapro for been anxious ? How did you find it in beginning? I have a 12 week old baby and a very active 3 year old. I was getting quite anxious but not depressed. The doctor asked me if I wanted to try somthing to help . She prescribed 5mg of escitalopram generic brand of lexapro to be taken daily for a week then 10 mg to be taken after one week. I'm on it 5 days and feel way worse than I was before. I rarely ever get down now I feel really depressed and anxious. The doctor said it actually makes you feel worse before it makes you feel better. I'm sorry I went on them at all and just want to come off them. How has anyone else found them ?
- Started by Anonymous on May 17, 2019
I was wondering if there was support groups for PND in this area.Thank you
- Started by Anna W on Dec 30, 2019
I'm looking to start going to meetings to seek some help and understanding. I tried to deal with my mental issues on my own and I hit the wall. Just wonder if tomorrow (New Year Eve) meeting is on in Cork Maternity hospital? Don't want to go all the way to find out no one showed up. I rang number of times the pnd landline but no response.
- Started by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2019
Just wondering,if any interest to try set up a coffee morning in Dublin for mums going through pnd and mums who've come out the other side?.:)
- Started by Ciara on May 10, 2019
I had my baby girl 2 weeks ago tomorrow I know it's a very short time but I just feel like, i have been to my GP and the mental health team here in cork but I just feel so broken I don't know how I'm going to look after my baby I feel that she would be better off without me that I can't bond with her. I keep thinking things won't get better at all and that I will be stuck like this and fail as a mother
- Started by Anonymous on Aug 08, 2019
I got pŕegnant with my youngest girl when I was doing my masters (and working full time). At 11 weeks I had a bleed and later found out i miscarried a twin. I had a really stressful pregnancy and had a lot going on during this time between work and studying. My youngest is now 13 months and I'm back at work. I find myself so irritable with my husband and my oldest girl and have days where I feel like crying for no reason or over anxious about stuff I can't control. I feel guilty that I'm not giving my best to my daughter's and I'm letting my husband down. I've been feeling like this on and off since my baby was born but it has definitely improved since going back to work. I'm not sure if I'm over analysing or if i should talk to someone. Any advice would be appreciated.