Hi, I am in exact same boat with 6 month old. I’m do relieved to have discovered this post as I have never felt so alone. I attend a therapist weekly I just can’t bring myself to tell them exactly how I’m feeling. I’m back to work soon and really hoping this goes away? I’m terrified this will all happen again if I have another baby? There is an OCD clinic in Dublin which I’m hoping to try soon. I try to keep myself busy but the days are so long.
Yes. I am recovering. Nearly recovered. It is possible even if it seems impossible. Surround yourself with compassionate kind people. I was incredibly ill and even hospitalised and at the time I thought I would never ever get better. And I did and I have. I am a better person. Suffering builds resilience compassion and strength. Keep muddling through and remember people do recover. It is possible. You can endure.
Hi Just wondering is there anyone here that is suffering or has recovered from post natal anxiety and intrusive thoughts ?
Antoinette thank you so so much for taken the time to reply. Never in a million years did I think I would find myself in what can only be described as hell. My baby is nearly 7 months now and I have definitely improved but some days are still bad and every time I have a bad day I freak out thinking it’s going to get horrible again. Do you mind me asking how you dealt with the intrusive thoughts ? They are the worst part of it for me. I just want them to go away it’s so exhausting and it can make me so sad at times. Have you any advice or tips in relation to getting better ? Did anything work great for you ? I tried counseling but gave it up.
I tried therapy...I saw one therapist didn't work...saw another...we didn't click and then found a third and have been seeing her for nearly two years. At first she was like a crutch and I saw her weekly. Now once a month or so! O started a mindfulness class weekly and although initially it was v v difficult to engage it got easier. As for intrusive thoughts I stopped trying to.fight them or being scared or overwhelmed by them I kept repeating to myself "it is only a thought. Thoughts are not facts" I think I got so wrapped up in fighting them or letting my imagination run wild with what ifs or guilt that initially I couldn't cope at all. But gradually I could step back and see them for what they were...not a desire yo stop living but rather a desire to escape crippling suffering. I found it incredibly difficult to sleep so rather than panic I started to keep headphones by my bed and listen to Tara Brach meditations or Ted talks..even really boring ones helped to calm my mind. Try writing down worst thoughts and fears and burning the paper in a fire. Exercise really helped...even just a brisk walk everyday. I also read posts here or posted ones myself just to remind me I wasn't alone as I think you can get trapped in a very negative cycle of self criticism and self loathing. I kept a diary. I wrote letter and burned them. I spoke to people who I could trust and I didn't tell anyone I don't want to until I was ready. I really think talking to a psychotherapist was the best thing I ever did and the most beneficial but you have to find someone who is right for you!
Finally I talked to my daughter all the time. I basically narrated what we did all day or sang. Really effective way to block out thoughts and she now has an amazing vocabulary!
Oh antoinette I can’t thank you enough for that reply. So many tips and help in there. I have actually been to 2 therapists aswell waiting on an appt with a third, hopefully 3rd time lucky. I definitely will try meditation anything to relax the brain. It’s such an awful hell that no one could ever realise if u didn’t experience it how it can make u feel. So not feeling like it’s only me it’s a huge bonus. Thank u so much for taking the time to reply. Very very appreciated.
Please continue to use this thread anytime you need reassurance. I was lucky that I had one person in my family who had experienced something similar (although it was hidden away and I only discovered it after my diagnosis by chance....you will be surprised by how many people you know who have experienced something similar and hidden it) that person was consistently there for me. They always reassured me sometimes with completely inappropriate politically incorrect advice and made light of the whole situation....it might not work for all but it certainly took the stigma and pain away if only temporarily! If i can do anything at all to ease your pain or even if you need to hear the same advice over and over again I will be here and if you choose never to post again then do that. Mind yourself. Be gentle on yourself. Believe in yourself and if that's not possible right now then adopt the "fake it till you make it" approach....I will put it this way...at my worst I couldn't get out of the car to go into a shop without a panic attack...I am now back at work, managing a highly pressurised position with a happy, healthy child...it is possible!