At my lowest

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Posted By Monica on Jan 12, 2015

Not sure where to start...I have a 4months baby girl that is my life, but I feel like I'm going insane. I've been exclusively breastfeeding since she was born but I am now physically exhausted, not to say psychologically. I can't get her to take bottles (either expressed milk or formula). She doesn't want dummies. She's awake every day until 4 or 5am and barely naps during the doctor put me on medication for depression but I'm not taking it because I'm terrified it will harm partner keeps supporting me but we don't stick to the commitments of routines and stuff, me because I'm barely standing on my feet and him...well...not sure. I am completely alone in Ireland no family at all and the few friends have their own lives to deal with. I feel like falling on the floor with desperation. What should I do? I have to go back to work in 4weeks!! Help! Thanks for letting me say this to someone without having to put my I'm very wrong mask...

Posted By Mary on Jan 13, 2015

Hi Monica, I really feel your pain, you need help, have you got on to your Public Health Nurse, she is there as a support. Surely there is breast feeding support like La Leche League and also the Matternity Hospital should have breast feeding support. You cant keep going like this, you are exhausted. Is there a Cuidiu in your area, I know they have support for BF. There is some medication you can take while feeding but I feel you need practical help, quickly. How do you feel about going back to work, I found it very difficult but was fine after the first day or two, it helped to have my head distracted. Have you child care organised? My baby woke up one morning and just decided no more breast, it was so distressing trying to get him to take the bottle but we got there. I know what it is like without family support, are your partners family around? Is any one from your family coming to visit, this can be really helpfull to have some support.. Hope this is some help

Posted By Monica on Jan 14, 2015

Hi Mary, thank you for replying to me...the Health Nurse was here yesterday again and basically, I'm back on medication. I just couldn't handle the pressure. Took my first tablet last night and thank God my partner was home cause I panicked. Got super drowsy had to lie down and went off. I keep thinking what would have happened if I was on my own with my baby. Unfortunately, my family doesn't have the means to come visit me. His family is from a neighboring county and they visit, but i can't ask them to put their lifes on hold. I feel stuck.

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