"Hate Life" - start with that. Get a pen and paper and try to write down one thing that you don't hate. You don't even have to like it that much - just as long as you don't hate it then that will do for now. My daughter was born two and a half years ago and quite frankly "hate life" summed up my life for about 95% of the first year of her life. I struggled through crippling anxiety, crippling depression, woefully inadequate medical intervention, hospitalisation, a locked ward for my safety when all I really needed was someone to tell me it was okay to hate life, that that hatred would not last, that the hatred was not my fault, that I was sick but that people get sick, I needed someone to tell me that I could endure, that I could struggle through and that some day I wouldn't hate life and every second on it. Be gentle on yourself, Start with I hate life and that is okay. Don't fight how you feel but try to remind yourself that perhaps how you think you feel is clouded by the perpetual raincloud that accompanies everything you do. Write one thing down just to show yourself that just because you feel you hate life that thought is not necessarily 100% accurate and if this does not help ignore this message. My biggest mistake was to try to take everyone's advice on board in the expectation that if I listened to everyone and did everything they asked I would recover instantly. I wish I just had listened to myself. Be kind. Be gentle and if you take nothing else from this take the following- you do survive and ultimately you are so so so much stronger!