You did the best you could with the information you had, so important to let yourself off the hook. We can drive ourselves crazy, unfortunately you cant change whats in the past, it is time to look forward and enjoy your beautiful baby. You did the best you could.
My baby lost 13% weightloss in 5 days, i was trying to exclusively breast feed, she was then hospitalised. I keep thinking it was my fault, i didnt wake her enough to feed( she was a slwepy baby) or was i to tired i slept through the cries. its all such a mess in my head now. I keep remembering certain times when perhaps i didnt do the right thing. Im not sure if im tainting the truth in my head or not. I just keep thinking about it in my head & cry & cry at the thought i could have starved her. At hospital she did gain some weight they fed her through my expressed breast milk, but then used Formula as i couldn't express enough for demand. She did put on weight and would feed at the bottle. Im angry at myself as well for not knowing enough when she wouldn't feed at home. Why didn't i know i could express and why didnt i have a good breast pump. Why didn't i give her formula when she wasnt feeding - although these are all things i know i could do now i didn't know at the time nor did i think she would take a bottle if she didn't take the breast. I now know that not to be true. When we got home i still couldnt get her to latch so we stuck with the formula. A few days later we were back in hospital and found out she had an extreamly serious virus. When she got the correct medication she completly changed however by then my milk was drying up and as much as i tried it never fully returned. If the virus meant she wasnt feeding im not sure. either way i cant help to keep going over and over in my head if the reason she lost so much weight is my fault
U hav to let yourself off d hook u did the best u could, dont beat yourself up, its in d past now an ur baby doing well. Enjoy this special time, I went through so much myself to breast feed an 1 ,day he just stopped, I was so upset but he got on well on d bottle an at least I tried. Please try to move on u not doing yourself any favours torturing yourself.
That’s sounds very tough. I think you’d benefit massively from speaking to a medical professional to get some factual information here. Lots of babies lose a lot of weight whether breastfeed or bottle fed. It happens, it’s devastating, but your baby is healthy and loved and you did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself. Get the support you need. And look at what an exceptional amazing and caring other you are. Wishing you all the best. X