Reply to Post Natal Depression afraid to tell partner

Posted By Anonymous on Aug 16, 2020

Help & Advise needed please I have PND never thought it could happen to me. Boys are 5 months & a 2.5year old toddler. Finding day to day stressful & trying to be optimistic. Fiancée is usually good with talking about feelings etc but our relationship is under strain at the moment & I feel it is all my fault.. he tells me it is. Feel worthless & know I could be a better mother. Think I need fiancée’s help more with the 2 boys but it’s not possible. Arguing a lot & it’s all my fault but afraid he will think i am using PND as an excuse as he is feeling low in himself too. He has told me that his mental health & is mine is more important than our relationship right now. I’m afraid to bring it up so I think its better i stay quiet.

Posted By PND Ireland on Aug 19, 2020

Hi Anon, I am sorry to hear you are going through this. A lot of women feel the same way - PND could never happen to them - but it is an illness, it is indiscriminate, it happens to so many women (around one in five) and it is NOT your fault. It is not all your fault, nor is it your partners, this is just something you are going through that cannot be helped. Your partner is right in that both of your mental health is important, but that does not necessarily mean that your relationship isn't. Ideally this would be something you work through together, supporting each other. You have every right to talk about your mental health, your struggles, and to request more help in parenting from your partner. I would encourage you to speak to your partner about it, staying quiet allows these things to fester and doesn't help them to heal. If you need someone outside of the situation to talk things through with, please call us on 0214922083 during office hours or 0834850689.