Hi, my baby is 8 months now and I just feel so bad I can't even explain it its just bad I feel bad and empty all the time. Everyone just calls me a moan and a crank but I just have the urge to rip clumps form my hair and smash my head against a wall ( I don't actually go through with it) I havnt told anyone how I'm feeling and nobody ever asks. If they did I know I'd break down in front of them. My partner has found me crying in the dark a few times but he just believes me when I say I just read a sad story and leaves me to it. I've no ill feelings towards my baby I love the bones off her so that's why I'm afraid to say out loud I have pnd incase it ever gets used against me ( not that it would it's just what I think) i would happily tell a doctor and take tablets but would the tablets turn me into a zombi? I don't want that but I don't want these feelings anymore :( I can't afford counselling
You are great to post this its a great start. You have to talk to your GP it is important you cant keep it bottled up. He might suggest tablets but it is your decision, there is some side effects but you will not be like a jombie, you would be surprised how many are on antidepressants. Are you getting any space for yourself, we all need to get time to ourselves. Are you sleeping and eating? You should keep a diary of your moods and the things you achieve every day. You need to get out for exercise. try to be posotive and take one day at a time. If you near Cork I could meet you or you could come to our support meeting on Tues 25th July at 8pm in CUMH where you could meet other Mums that understand. You can ring me 086 8527762 for a chat Madge
Lots of women have these feelings and it can be scarey. You need to go to GP and tell him how you are feeling, he might suggest tablets but it is your decission. You will not be like a zombie but there will be side effects for a week or so. I found the PND support group great help met other women that had been there. Very important to get out for exercise and also have time for yourself. Look up helpfull suggestion www.pnd.ie they do help.
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