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Posted By Ciara on Apr 22, 2016

Hi all, I just have a question. I struggled with depression for years on and off but I thought I'd really recovered and had been happy for about 2 years. I then got pregnant and I just wouldn't let myself get down about things because I felt guilty that my negative thoughts would damage the baby. I had a beautiful baby girl 7 mths ago and I'd do anything for her. I have kept strong, remained extremely calm but since I had to return to work 6 weeks ago I don't feel like I'm coping. I'm exhausted, my husband isn't as hands on as I thought he would be so I'm still her primary care giver. It's almost as though I'm a single parent, I do everything myself; everything with the baby, every night feed, the cooking and cleaning of the house and now I've a 50hr stressful week to deal with. I know I've been bottling up how much I'm not ok but I just feel tonight that if I started crying I really wouldn't stop. I feel I've left my daughter down so much, I'm not getting on with her dad, I don't think we will be together much longer and I feel I've failed her. I hate my job and feel I'm missing out on my baby but know if we split up I have to have an income to support us. It's like I'm trapped? Does this happen all new mums? I know I can't continue this way and that something has gotta give but I don't know where to start.

Posted By Anna on Apr 28, 2016

Hi Ciara You are very hard on yourself, you are a great Mother looking after all your daughters needs, you havent left her down. You sound so like me, I also felt like I had to do everything and guess what my partner left me do it. You sound like you need a bit of you time, ask your husband to mind the baby and even to get out for a walk on your own will help. You say you hate your job, can you change to another area, when we are exhausted we find work really hard. Have you family support, its important to reach out to people that can help. I joined a yoga class, it was so good for me and it ment my partner had to put the baby to bed. Try to stay posotive and take one day at a time. Have you talked to your GP and what about a few sessions of councilling it can help even couple councilling. It is hard being a Mum there is so much to do especially when you also have to work full time, but it is worth it and it gets eassier as they get bigger.

Posted By Emah on Apr 30, 2016

That sounds like a horrendous workload! I'm exhausted and work part time! It is a shock to find out partners can be so selfish and pretty much take on teenage form! Have you anyone to help you, can you reduce work hours? Very much in same boat, feeling of trapped unreal, but don't give up on useless partner or marriage yet, may seem like that but ye really need to talk and find out what is going on in his head, men are incredibly stupid and blind to fact you could be on verge of breakdown. He may think you are doing a super job and don't need his help, or maybe afraid to get something wrong, or just plain lazy. If you even gave him list of what needed to be done , even the shopping, helping with housework, spell it out for him, but don't be thinking breakup just yet, have the talk and see xx in meantime any friends to give you break

Posted By Emah on Apr 30, 2016

That sounds like a horrendous workload! I'm exhausted and work part time! It is a shock to find out partners can be so selfish and pretty much take on teenage form! Have you anyone to help you, can you reduce work hours? Very much in same boat, feeling of trapped unreal, but don't give up on useless partner or marriage yet, may seem like that but ye really need to talk and find out what is going on in his head, men are incredibly stupid and blind to fact you could be on verge of breakdown. He may think you are doing a super job and don't need his help, or maybe afraid to get something wrong, or just plain lazy. If you even gave him list of what needed to be done , even the shopping, helping with housework, spell it out for him, but don't be thinking breakup just yet, have the talk and see xx in meantime any friends to give you break

Posted By Ciara on May 04, 2016

Hi Anna, thanks for your advise. I still don't know what to do. I don't have any support from family really as I live in Cork and they're all in Clare. I don't have anyone down here, I've lost contact with all my friends and have isolated myself. At the time I felt I didn't have the time and they were just another burden and added pressure on me. I just feel I'm a ticking time bomb. Since having my baby I have no confidence in how I look anymore. I just feel like a hopeless case.just trapped

Posted By Ciara on May 04, 2016

Hi Emah, thanks for taking the time to reply. I actually think the reason my husband is so useless is because he doesn't want to be around. He blames me for the way I treated him when I was very low. I think I have caused him too much hurt we can't move forward. He doesn't like me as a person anymore. Doesn't want to be around me and has said it. I just don't know what to do

Displaying all 6 Post