So I just recently found this page and I feel as though I can relate to what everyone on here is going through. I have a two and half year old and an eight week old daughter. My first birth experience was awful. Very traumatic and my baby ended up needing surgery. It took me a very long time to recover even after my baby was released from hospital. My second birth was fast and so much less stressful. We were even allowed go home in 24 hours but as soon as we got home there were issues. I was trying to breastfeed and it wasn't working. Lots of screaming and then once she was bottle fed loads of reflux to top it all off she never slept during the day. It turned out she had a ptt. We got it released but things were still bad. We have taken her to a doc and osteo but everything I have tried hasten worked. I was initially delighted but as time has gone on I find myself getting more and more depressed. I have tried talking to my partner but he doesn't know what to say. I don't have s support system as I don't have any family here and all of my friends either work or don't have kids. I have reached out in my area but there doesn't seem to be much going on. At this point I am certain I have pnd. I feel anxious most of the time ,frustrated and I cry a lot. I love my baby but she doesn't seem to get much comfort from me when she is upset which is incredibly hard to deal with. My son was always so chilled out and if he did get upset if I picked him up and held him close he would relax. I feel so angry that my partner gets to leave everyday. I feel like I can't get anything done because she screams so much during the day and while she screams it upsets my other child so then the two of them cry. I even tried to reach out to one of my close friends but she didn't seem to know what to say almost like she didn't want to talk about it. I don't drive and my partner starts a new job next week were he will be gone a lot and I am dreading it. Even when he runs out the shop it's really tough. Up to this point I feel like I've kept all of this hidden from everyone. I am supposed to be over the moon. I have a healthy baby and my husband just got a new job. I feel pretty lost but I also feel like by the time I meet everyone else's needs there is nothing left for me. I don't even feel like I have the time to deal with this.
Hi Rachel you poor pet you really have your hand s full. I felt so like you when my husband was going out to work and I had to stay home and mind two (toddler and baby) it was so hard, I also had no family around, I felt so lonely and frustrated and friends just didn’t seem to want to know. You have to make time for yourself it is vital, I used to take off every Saturday afternoon for a few hours on my own, you have to do this or something similar for yourself cause no one will do it for you. Your husband is their Father and needs to do his bit. Is their any Mother and toddle group close by, it really is a good way to meet other new Mums in your area. What about your Public Health Nurse, can you talk to her she should know what is happening in your area. It is very difficult being a Mum you are in survival mode(but nobody tells you) and believe me it gets better as they get bigger, just try to take one day at a time. look up helpful suggestions here on the site. It really gets better.
Thanks Joan I appreciate your kind words. Unfortunately the area I live in there isn't a lot in the way of mother and baby groups but I am definitely going to take your advice and try to find a little time to myself eqch week. I think as well because I have tried to cope on my own the pressure of keeping it to myself was making things worse. I am trying to reach out more and not best myself up thinking I should just get on with things and eventually it would fix itself. I suppose if I had a broken leg I wouldn't just ignore the pain so I have to deal with this too. It helps hearing that others have experienced similar feelings too.