Reply to Not sure what to do

Posted By Anonymous on Nov 27, 2021

My baby is nearly 7 months, shes my second. I know on my first if i hadnt gone back to work when i did i was heading down the road of pnd, this time im going back to work a few months later than the last and im just starting to panic and feel like im just not coping. Baby doesnt sleep well at all, waking 4 or sometimes 8 times a night i cant get on top of it. I know writing this its sounds daft but i really feelnits my fault that im doing something wrong to cause the sleep issues. I also feel like im not doing enough for my little boy, family take him quite alot and he lives it but i feel he isnloosing out on mommy time. My husnvand is worse than useless but at times i dont know if thats because i dont allow him to help. Baby is so cranky if shes not with me family dont even seem to like her. Its all becoming very stressful. Added to the fact that im terrified about how i will cope with 2 when i do go bavk to work. I really would like practical advice stratigies etc, going to my gp really isnt an option as i work with them and dont really want to discuss this with them, my actual go who i had a good relationship with has left and i just couldn't face the others and then fave them daily at work (as silly as that sounds) I dont even know if this is just a case of sleep deprivation and mom guilt l, but its getting to the point where if im left alone to think i end up in tears.

Posted By Sinéad, PND Ireland on Nov 29, 2021

Good Morning, If you feel you are not ready to go back to work that is very understandable and you can take an extra few weeks off. Please don't be so hard on yourself you are putting yourself down and you have no reason to do that. Yes it is very difficult when you have a second child everything is doubled. You are not causing your baby to be waking up during the night every baby is different. Maybe if you gave her a little bit extra going to bed that might help. It is so great you have family to help out, you have nothing to feel guilty about try and enjoy that time with your new baby. You know your little boy is been well looked after. I know we want and like the way we do our different chores and helping out with your baby but you have to let your partner help out. You go and do something for you go for a walk, meet a friend, have an extra long shower and take time for you. You are better off not to watch him doing the things his way because you are going to find fault and that is not very nice for your partner to hear that from you. It can be stressful but you have to try and walk away. That is not easy but you will get used to it .He will be fine. You are not Super woman, we think we can do everything but No we cannot we need help too, he has to lrean to. If you can't go and talk with your GP give your Public Health nurse a ring she will guide you in the right direction. You will cope and you will get there give yourself a chance. Stop thinking that you can't do it because you can and I know you will. Give yourself a little praise, you need time to ajust to your new life now, that takes time and for everyone it is different. Please dont compare yourself to anyone, nobody has any idea what goes on in people's lives. Try to be a little more positive and believe in you. You are a great Mum and person to get where you are today and yes you will carry on doing the best you can that is all any of us can do. You can ring me in the office on 021-4922083 if you feel like a chat or send on another message. Thank you for getting in touch. It is hard enough to take the first step. So many people around you are going through exactly the same as you. Hope this helps you. Sinéad