Gender grief

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Posted By Anonymous on Dec 26, 2020

I was diagnosed with PND in august after my second baby, he was 8 months old then - I started medication and instantly felt better - I still have moments of being overwhelmed but over all much much better than before - he is a really tough baby and I am constantly exhausted however I am managing much better except for one thing - whenever I hear of others having a second or third baby of different genders I find it really triggering. I get very jealous and sad that I have two boys - I adore both my children but I feel like I’m grieving for a daughter. Has anyone else felt like this? I don’t know how to shake this feeling, my husband and I have agreed to no more children & even if we did change our minds I don’t think I could handle the disappointment of another boy. I feel so horrible for thinking this way when I adore my boys but I can’t shake it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Posted By PND Ireland on Jan 14, 2021

Hello Anonymous, Thankyou for your message and sorry about the delay with response - due to the Christmas holidays and the Covid situation, there was a slight delay in returning messages during this time. Thank you for your honesty and highlighting your situation with regard to your grief around gender. I am sorry that you feel this way, carrying this feeling while having been blessed with two wonderful boys that you clearly adore at the same time as feeling as though you are grieving a daughter can be sad for you of course. We are a support service for women suffering with PND, we are available for you to chat anytime if you would like to contact us @ 0834850689, alternatively, we have a Facebook page called 'PND Ireland' and you can send us a private message there directly if you would prefer to chat there privately and directly and we respond to messages there on a daily basis. We also arrange support meetings or online zoom meetings for mom's if you would ever be interested to attend so please do contact us if you think we could be of anymore help to you in anyway, Regards, Lisa.

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