Hi everyone! I just wanted to post this to find out if anyone else had similar experiences. Before I was pregnant I had mild anxiety both general and social which I was able to manage myself with CBT and lifestyle management. Last year I found out I was pregnant which came as a huge surprise as I had just started a new job and was in my mid 20s. I didn’t feel that I had much support or reassurance from the medical end of things or from my family/partner and for the initial few weeks I spend a lot of time feeling lonely, isolated, panicked, withdrawn and in the evening times in bed. I felt a great deal of jugement and guilt and didn’t tell a lot of people about the pregnancy until I was 5/6 months pregnant, some family members found it hard to accept and some never spoke to me about it. I moved into a new house around this time and found it very difficult to adjust to living with my partner due to his lack of understanding with the pregnancy and help with the housework. He worked long hours and I was at home a lot at weekends and evenings on my own. I became more fretful about the labour and had a deep sense of dread about all the things that could go wrong and about dying. The birth was good in all respects but I became unwell shortly afterwards and was hospitalised for 4 days with a medical complication and surgery afterwards . which resulted in not being able to mind the baby for a month. In all this time I became resentful and controlling of my partner and that he was unsympathetic towards me, the time he spent outside the home at work and I was constantly fighting and calling him to see where he was and to request him home. We would fight over small things and I would become mad over insignificant events. I would start arguments and looking back now I can see that this has created a huge strain on the relationship. At present I feel a great sense of guilt as I love my baby so much, I have a feeling that others are judging me, feeling like I have to struggle on, have racing thoughts and I am nearly waiting on the next “bad” thing to happen. I feel like it will be hard to get our relationship back and my partner never suggests doing things together anymore. I feel so anxious about the future and I am afraid of becoming sick again. My GP is not very helpful and I am not sure of where to go next. Thanks for listening x
Sorry to hear your going through this time. It sounds like the lack of support from all areas of your life has had a big impact on your reactions later on. Doctors aren’t great for anxiety the only thing they can give you is anti anxiety tablets like Xanax and anti depressants which act in a similar way but more long lasting. Councelling is a great source to deal with the internal problem and provide coping skills. Allot of family and friends aren’t always going to do or say the right things because they aren’t trained and often don’t understand. If you have an insurance policy or EAP in work you may find you have access to 6 free face to face sessions. I would recommend these sources first before trying to tackle issues with your relationship. You need to get and feel better before working on relationships with other people. Don’t lose faith so many women are in the same circumstances and feel a range of feelings from guilt me shame. Self care first and things will get better x
You mentioned you suffered from anxiety before and found CBT helped, I know you on medication and cbt and councilling could help. Do you think your were suffering from anti natal depression while you pregnant sounds like you under pressure and your partner dosent seem to have come to terms with the baby and the responsibility involved. Ye are going to have to talk you cant keep going like this, you have a lot of anxiety and this is such an important time for you and your baby. Ye brought this little baby into the world and she deserves the support of both her parents. I hope you are getting support from your family. How do you feel about the baby now, it can be so hard when you have a bad birth experience and when you could not mind her for the month but important that you move on you cant change the past just look forward.
Thanks for the replay guys. I feel better after getting my rant out! I think I need to spend more time on self care as advised and find someone to talk to about the anxiety. I love my baby so much and just want the absolute best for her and to do that I think I need to spend some time on self care. I have looked into baby groups to get out of the house more which I think will help! Thanks for ur replies it’s good to know there is online support out there
Hi, although I suffer from severe anxiety and hypochondria and not post natal depression I can relate. I hemmoraged years ago after having my first child and almost died. At the time I didn't fear what could happen to me but that has since caught up with me. After having four children I decided to have the more a coil inserted. I had terrible symptoms but I kept it in as I feared getting pregnant again. Eventually after having it in for three years I had it removed. I had complications as it was embedded. I was sent to A&E to have it removed there. After being reassured by the doctor that it was visable and that they could get it out I felt slightly more relaxed. She then proceeded to pull at it and it broke. I ended up having to have it surgically removed two months later. Since that day in A&E a year and a half ago I have not been the same. My life hasn't been mine. Everything has changed and like that I feel like nobody understands. I wish there was something out there to help us. I have just turned thirty and yet I feel like my life is over. I constantly suffer with dizziness, nausea and a serious phobia of getting cancer.